I had a horrible night at work last night. I was left alone to cover 3 departments and about 20 costumers.
It was the 5th.
It marked the 8 month anniversary of my father's passing.
It marked the 3 months from of my brother's first chemo session
and it was the day of my mother's second surgery for melanoma.
I wanted to be home with my family. Eating my dad's cooking. Throwing balled up napkins into my brother's cup. Reminiscing about midnight swims. Popcorn.
If anyone had told me at that time that those were all the thoughts that would be wondering my head while I was at work,
I would have thought there was no way on earth I would last.
But I did my job. I treated my costumers as well as I could. I called my manager and defended myself. I panicked a little. I got to my car and I cried. I called a friend. By the time I got home I was laughing with him and I felt better.
I apologized to my manager this morning for losing my calm and he was very understanding.
I think the best thing I have learned has been about self limitations.
I have a better knowledge about what I can and can't do,
more confidence with what I can and more realism about what I can't
I have learned when I need reach out
when to defend myself and when its okay to vent or cry.
oh man, my brain.