Thursday, September 4, 2014

one hundred twenty

Today was a big day without any feeling of celebration. I finally got my TMS up to 120%. 
I could tell right away that the intensity was raised today, unlike my jump to 115%
But the pain was so much more manageable than I thought.

A week ago, I had a moment of panic, I was telling my friend how concerned I was that I wouldn't be able to handle the maximum, and that this was, in no doubt in my mind, going to fail as a treatment. 
 But like many of my panic pessimistic thoughts, this was not the case

I feel great right now. 
I feel proud. 
I'm still worried about the costs but I know once I start feeling better, it will not longer matter to me.

I think I need to speak with my manager about giving me less hours at work. I'm so exhausted. I really want to write some more about my thoughts through out the day, but its midnight and I have to get up at 7:30 for treatment. Then work. Too late. 

good night all. 

keep hope. 

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